A Flag

What started as a very simple act on my part turned into an amazing experience that touches everyone who reads about it.  This is what happens when you put an amazing person (Tommy), two incredible friends (April and Bobby), two Google searches, two years, two strangers and a flag together.

Or, it’s the simplest acts…..

And something that I am so very thankful to have been involved with.

(posted with permission)

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Thank you - http://pnwrandommusings.blogspot.com/2009/10/thank-you.html (My Blog)  Originally posted October 12, 2009

 On Fri, Nov 11, 2011 at 7:55 AM, Bobby Johnston wrote:

Michelle,

You do not know me, but you know of me.  Tommy Vandling, the soldier whose flag you have, was my best friend.  I am the brother of April Johnston who wrote the story about Tommy that you read.  She also wrote his obituary. Today being Veteran's Day I googled Tommy's name and came across your blog post about him.  If you truly do want his flag to be in the hands of someone who knew him I would be honored to have it.  If you would like to keep it for yourself I understand.  Also, if you would like to know more about Tommy I would love to answer any questions you might have about him.  I love to talk about him because a few days after he passed his mom turned to me and said "Bobby, the more people that know Tommy was great the better." I have taken her telling me that as my responsibility to tell his story whenever possible.  

Sincerely,

Bobby Johnston

On Nov 16, 2011, at 9:44 PM, Michele Bovey wrote:

Bobby,
I'm so very glad I got your email today.  First, I'm sorry for the delay in answering you (I'll explain that in a minute) but it would my honor to send you Tommy's flag.  I knew the flag belonged with someone who knew Tommy, not with a stranger.  I just didn't know it would take 2 years and an odd sequence of events for it to happen.  After I read April's story online, I tried to contact her via email at the paper, with no luck, and didn't really know where to try after that.  That's why I posted something on my blog, that maybe some day someone would look for it.  But as you can tell, the blog was never kept up and even the emails from it don't always end up where they should.  Over the last two years, I've thought of other options for the flag, including maybe the VFW from Tommy's hometown, but since it was never a simple task of putting the frame in a box and sending it some place specific, I never got it done.  Ironically, I thought about it again this year, about two weeks ago.

This afternoon, I was killing time at the end of the day at work and playing with my phone and email.  For some reason, I checked the spam folder on my gmail account that the blog emails are forwarded to.  I rarely, if ever, check the spam folder, but that's where I found your email.  That's why I didn't respond sooner - I didn't see the email until today.  I wished I had - the flag would already be on it's way to you.  It would truly be my honor to send it to you.  Just let me know the address.

As for questions about Tommy.....please, I'd love to hear whatever stories you want to share.  What DO you tell someone who's never met him, but wished that they had?  Tell me what you two were like growing up together.  Tell me whatever you want to share with me.  I'd love to hear all of it.

-Michele

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On Thu, Nov 17, 2011 at 9:06 AM, Bobby Johnston wrote:

Michele,

Thank you for getting back to me.  I did notice that the blog was not kept up so I assumed I would not hear back from you.  I am so glad you did.  When I read your email last night I was actually sitting next to Tommy's younger brother Jimmy, at a basketball game.  I didn't share the email with him though because he still has trouble talking about Tommy.  Jimmy only really talks to me about him and it is always when we are alone, so I did not think a basketball game was the right place to bring him up.  

Where do I start when it comes to telling someone about Tommy?  I do not have an older brother and I knew Tommy my entire life and we were always together. So, as far as I am concerned he is my big brother, and I am sure he would tell you the same.  He was really protective of myself, my sister, his two brothers, and his little sister.  He is so hard to describe.  He was stubborn as a mule and it drove a lot of people crazy, but not me because we knew each other so well I knew how to get him out of his stubborn mode. He were always together and when he came back the first time for Iraq he came to my house to pick me up before he even went home.  I walked into his house first and told his mom I brought a friend with me.  He walked in behind me with the biggest goofiest smile I have ever seen on his face.  His mom screamed so loudly.  

Tommy was never a great athlete but loved sports.  Especially the Pittsburgh Steelers.  His family has had season tickets for as long as I can remember and I have a lot of great memories going to games with him.  

Tommy never thought he would go to war.  He signed up for the Army in the summer of 2001.  He had no idea that in a couple of months we would be attacked and a war would break out.  He signed up for the reserves so he could make some extra money and pay for college.  When the time came for him to be deployed he never thought twice about his decision.  He believed in what he was doing, but it was not the same belief that everyone else.  Tommy loved children and the children of Iraq stole his heart.  That is why he fought.  He wanted those children to have the same freedoms that he grew up with.  Once Tommy got back from his first tour he signed up for the ROTC at the University of Pittsburgh.  This would protect him from being deployed again for a little while.  The time came when his unit was being deployed again and he was not being called to duty because of the ROTC protection.  He felt as if he was betraying his unit and waived his protection.  He volunteered to go back to help protect his unit and to fight for the children in Iraq. He never made it back from this deployment.  

Tommy's funeral procession was over 2 miles long because so many cars came.  He is from a small borough in Pittsburgh called Bellevue and the day we buried him they shutdown the main street, Lincoln Ave.  People of all ages lined the streets.  One of the lasting images I have is turning off of Lincoln to go down the street Tommy grew up on and standing on the corner was an older gentleman standing saluting the hearse as it drove by.  

I know my stories don't do Tommy justice because when I do talk about him someone usually asked a question or it comes up organically.  It is hard to pull the stories out like this.  My most fond memories of Tommy are all the same though.  It is me and him just driving around Pittsburgh in either his mustang, my mustang, or a 1972 convertible Pontiac Catalina that belonged to his Grandmother and his dad could never part with.  He would drive around for hours and just talk.  I have never had another friend like Tommy and I know I never will.  

This may seem far fetched to you, but I swear it is true.  He was killed in Iraq on New Years Day around 11am their time.  That would have made it roughly 3am here in Pittsburgh.  At that time I was walking home from a New Years party I had attended and I was thinking about Tommy.  Thinking I hope he is okay.  Wondering what New Years is like there and what time it was there.  I believe I was thinking about him right when he was killed.  Or maybe he was with me and that is why I started thinking about him.  I remember being sad when thinking about him.  That is how connected I believe we were.

Sorry for rambling on but it is so rare anyone asks about Tommy anymore since this New Years is 5 years since he was killed.  It hurts to say but I think some people have forgotten him.  

Michele thank you so much for reading all of this and I would be honored to display his flag in my house.  Please let me send you some money for the shipping cost.

My address is:

I have attached some pictures of Tommy

Bobby Johnston

On Nov 19, 2011, at 12:44 AM, Michele Bovey wrote:

I owe you an apology.  I have several friends who know of the flag and your original email...and I forwarded your story of Tommy.  The below was supposed to go to one of them.  Everyone who's heard me talk about the flag, Tommy and you, have all ended up in awe and in tears.  You're both amazing people, and I do mean both of you.

I hope you can forgive me for sharing your email without asking first.
-Michele

--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bobby Johnston

Date: Mon, Nov 21, 2011 at 4:33 PM
Subject: Re: Tommy Vandling
To: Michele Bovey

Michele, 

It is absolutely okay that you have shared my email and more importantly Tommy's story.  You are just helping me let more people know Tommy was great.  I meant to tell you in my first email, but you will see in one of the pictures that Tommy is writing.  He kept journals of both his tours in Iraq and wrote about what he was thinking and what they did almost everyday.  Sadly when they shipped his stuff back to his parents, most of the most recent entries were ripped out.  Most likely it was information that was still classified so the Army ripped them out.  However, his parents still have all the journals that did make it home.  His dad hopes to one day turn them into a book with the help of my sister.  They haven't let many people read the journals but I have had the opportunity too.  Some of what he wrote is really funny and then the next day it can be very dark and sad.  It really makes you wonder what they put themselves through to protect our freedoms.  

I have attached a couple more pictures.  One is of our Mustangs in my parents driveway(his white, mine black).  One is of us when we were younger, Tommy is 14 and I am 12.  It was taken at the beach in Nags Head, North Carolina.  One is of Tommy in his Mustang. The last one is of the tattoo I got in memory of Tommy.  It is a dreamcatcher he always had in his car and can even see in hanging from his rearview mirror in one picture.  He said he kept it in his car to protect him.  I got it tattooed to protect me.

Tommy's mom, dad, brother Jimmy, brother Mikey, and sister Elizabeth(but we all just call her Biddy) will all be coming over for Thanksgiving.  I am going to show them all our emails and your original blog post.  I will let you know what they say.

Bobby Johnston

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What Bobby didn’t know was that I had sent the flag to him via UPS to arrive before Thanksgiving.  The flag did arrive in time, and Bobby was able to show it, and our emails, to Tommy’s family.  He offered them the flag, which they declined.  The flag has found a good home, finally.